You know you're a Netflix binge-watcher when...

In 2016, everyone was talking about “Netflix and chill.” Last year, things changed. You’ve devolved into a Netflix binge-watcher.

You have red, sunken eyes from marathoning all 6.5 hours of Stranger Things. Your skin is pasty and pale because it hasn’t been in sunlight for weeks. You don’t even care if there’s anyone around to “chill” with anymore. Who needs a significant other when you have Netflix? Netflix is your boyfriend.

And you just know people are going to get all judgey when they find out you finished the last season of Orange is the New Black the first day it was out.

Netflix and Judge #Netflix #BingeWatch

Posted by The Nerdy News Roundup on Saturday, April 30, 2016

So, when do you know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher?

Most people watch Netflix to kill time when they have no plans, but you make regular plans to watch. Netflix is your significant other, and you have regular date night(s)

When a family member logs in and takes the last available “screen” on your plan, you upgrade your service in a panic, so you can finish the series.

You’ve spent more time looking for movies than watching them because you’ve already seen everything you want to watch.

This Netflix binge-watcher has dodgy internet service.
Image: CC2.0 2.0 by Jorn Eriksson via Flickr

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

The remains of several meals under the couch cushions are discovered. And you’re relieved because it means you won’t have to stop watching Black Mirror to eat.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when the Netflix algorithm recommends that you turn off the laptop and get a life.

Or when you download the Netflix app to your phone so you can finish Lost on the commute to work. Or on the toilet.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You have a laptop warmed up and ready to go just in case you need to step away from your Smart TV.

Oh, and yeah. When you find yourself spending $800 for a television because you can watch Netflix on it.

Image: CC0 by Stock Snapvia Pixabay.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You’ve developed a rather complicated wine list for pairing with snacks and Netflix. Grey’s Anatomy calls for a Chardonnay, while House of Cards rates a good Merlot.

You find yourself talking back to the screen when Netflix flashes the “are you still watching” message. And yet, you still kiss your mother with that mouth.

Only a true Netflix binge-watcher knows exactly how long the opening credits for a show lasts so they can fast-forward to the exact second.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You vow not to sleep nor eat until Killgrave is defeated in Jessica Jones. And you don’t.

You’ve been known to look at your phone between episodes. To find out what day it is.

The kids are actually starting to complain about all the fast food you’ve picked on the way home from work. Who has time to cook when there are episodes of Reign still left to finish?

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You have panic attacks when your internet service flutters and Netflix starts to buffer.

You’ve actually downloaded the video speed controller extension for Chrome so you can watch more Netflix in less time.

You seriously think about upgrading to faster internet service because your family is complaining about the slow speed … thanks to your bandwidth hogging.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

Instead of asking your friends how they are, you ask them which episode of Santa Clarita Diet they’re on.

You realize that the only parts of the house that get cleaned are those within view of the screen.

You catch your reflection in the TV screen between episodes and realize you look homeless. And you don’t care.

You’re genuinely hurt when you find out your partner watched two more episodes of BoJack Horseman without you. Even though you don’t really like it.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You fall asleep in the middle a TWD binge and have a nightmare that Negan is chasing you.

You’re annoyed because your friend hasn’t finished the second season of The Crown yet, and now you have nothing to talk about.

You’ve used up sick time at work when a new season of your favorite Netflix Original shows drops.

Are you a Netflix binge-watcher?
Image: CC0 Creative Commons by jgryntysz via Pixabay.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You realize you wouldn’t have been caught dead watching Gilmore Girls 17 years ago when it was on regular television. But now, you’re willing to give it a shot.

You try to watch weekly TV shows, but now you find you can’t remember who any of the characters are or what’s happening in the plot.

In fact, if your show is still on TV, you just wait till the end of the season when they add it to Netflix. You’d rather watch 23 hours of a coherent story than try to remember what’s going on every week.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

You’ve exhausted all the regular TV shows and romantic comedies. Now, you’re binge-watching documentaries. Who could have guessed that the guy from Sherlock knew so much about penguins?

Your knowledge of 13th century Mongolian life is impressive, thanks to binge-watching Marco Polo. And, you still aren’t sure exactly where Mongolia is.

You find yourself writing down lists of things you do besides watch Netflix. You know, because someone in your house has started asking…

You’re not sure what to do with yourself when you finish an entire series. A quick look at your day planner from years ago helps you figure out what you did with your time before Netflix.

You know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when…

The Breaking Bad finale was one of your life-changing moments.

And last, but certainly not least, you know you’re a Netflix binge-watcher when you begin to wonder vaguely if those sore spots on your behind could be bedsores.

But then the little square pops up with the countdown to the next episode.

Maybe you’ll google it after just one more episode…

Featured image: CC 2.0 by Keirsten Marie via Flickr